It’s Christmas time again, so bring on the wish lists and piles of presents. Or, maybe not. Brie takes a look at shrinking the ever-growing toy box for good reasons.
This is the first year my daughter has some inclination of what Christmas is all about. When asked what Santa says, she responds “Ho Ho…” (always leaving the last “Ho” out). She squeals at the lights she sees around town, and at only one, she’s become a pro at opening presents. It’s crazy, really. I swear, a kid understands Christmas before they can utter their first sentence.
Now that my husband and I have kids, it’s our opportunity to create Christmas as it makes sense in our family. Yes, it’s exciting. And it seems to be equally overwhelming.
Honestly, it is darn tempting to spoil the heck out of our daughter. She is our first child and the only grandchild on either side. As kids, both my husband and I loved Christmas and we definitely want the same for her. So far in her mind, Christmas is about lights, Santa and presents. And it seems spoiling is imminent this holiday season with so much family nearby.
But a recent Time article, The Growing Backlash Against Overparenting, made me think twice about buying every blinking, flashing and talking toy we come across. The article begins by talking about helicopter parenting and how overprotecting our kids has slowly become the new norm. But it also discusses the importance of “play” for kids, and definitely not with the newest, hippest toys around. “We need to quit bombarding them (our kids) with choices way before their ability to handle them,” Payne says. The average child has 150 toys.
The author goes on to talk about how kids actually benefit from having less “things” and more “time” to play with what they do have. This is where real imaginative, brain-strengthening, and creative play comes in. Endless options, busy, noisy, and blinking toys create an underlying level of unease and stress in a child’s brain. Fascinating.
Of course, I would be lying if I said we weren’t going to buy our daughter toys this holiday season. Frankly I love toys; I’m not trying to be The Grinch here. All I’m saying is that in reading more about the “less is more” idea, I feel reduced pressure as a parent to create something that ends up feeling empty, and financially challenging to maintain year after year. And maybe all the time I save on shopping will allow my husband and I time to plan how to teach our daughter the moral intentions of Christmas in the first place.

I like this. Thought provoking, I must say. As the parent of 3 grown children, I couldn’t agree more. Our children played with dolls, trucks and dirt – no flashing lights or technology driven interactivity – or lack there of.
However, I challenge the word “understands” and the concept that children “understand Christmas”, just as I would challenge the notion that a child understands the true meaning in a birthday party. To an immature mind, Christmas (as well other celebrations such as birthdays) are all about presents – the hoopla and as you mention – noises, bright lights. To a mature mind, birthdays and spiritual holidays of any religion carry significance and require a truer understanding. As much as society (sadly) has made Christmas about gift giving, reindeer and Santa Claus (I hope I am not a grinch, either!) – there is much to be said for those who wrap the moral intentions and spiritual implications of 12/25 with a pretty red bow, as well.
I have a feeling you and your husband may believe in a different religion and thus, I understand the great familial and societal pressure to succumb to celebrating a holiday that has no actual tie to your belief system. I commend you for the intention to (eventually) educate your family as to the underlying meaning while maintaining your own spiritual integrity and also allowing some of the fun and games.
Michelle,
Thanks for the response. I am totally with you on kids “understanding” Christmas. After reading your response, I realize I should have used quotes or maybe even chosen a better word. I definitely think it is going to be some serious intentional work on our part over many years to have our daughter “understand” the deeper implications of any holiday, really. I hope at some point to figure out how to do this. For now, year one, we are just starting to think about it all…
Thanks for the encouragement and best wishes to you and your family for a happy holiday season.
I totally agree that Less is More when it comes to toys and kids! They have to become more ingenuitive in a play pen with 2 toys than with 20. I want my child to look at one toy at a time, turning it around, discovering what sounds it makes, how it feels, how heavy it is, etc. I also hope that he can be appreciative of each little gift received at Christmas and his birthday!
Totally, with you, AJ! Now if I can just follow through on all these good ideas:)…
Exactly- I’m having a hard time following through on my philosophies! He’s having difficulty learning to play by himself, without me there. So my first instinct when he cries is to set out more toys! But that’s the opposite of what I intending! We’re working on it. Let me know if you have any suggestions.
Honestly – I wish there were no presents at Christmas, aside from those we selected. Not to sound Bah Humbug but honestly, with a family as huge as ours – we ALL get items we don’t need and/or want, we all spend too much money and then I spend a bunch of time trying to trek to different stores to return stuff, feeling guilty all the while because it was a “gift” (Now granted, this is primarily on my husband’s side but…). And most of the time, I love being the one to give but at Christmas, it just seems like a stress…. the malls are crowded, you never know what to get and in the end, you end up buying “stuff” just to check recipients off your list. In an ideal world, we’d each exchange one small gift and be done with the gift giving and then focus on family and friends. Anywhoooooo – I like the post. Go girl.
Thanks so much for the response, Kylie. Love your thoughts..I am totally with you, sister!