I’ve quickly discovered that being a new mom with no owner’s manual means having to do a lot of your own research. But between all the studies, suggestions and well-meaning opinions, it’s hard to know exactly where to turn. The pacifier issue is a great example.
Pacies have received very mixed reviews. Many breastfeeding purists will argue that pacifiers only interfere with a baby’s ability to learn to latch properly in the first few months. Others say it’s a bad habit you’ll eventually have a hard time breaking and that it’s an easy out for parents when the kid is crying, a trick they’ll regret later on when it comes time to replace that ‘mute button’ with something new. On the other hand, some babies can’t seem to settle down without satisfying their sucking instinct. It’s better than chewing on their fingers and with the improvements they’ve made in the pacifier’s design there’s less risk of dental problems if they are used when the baby is young.
Yesterday afternoon, when C was fighting nap time with all her strength, we decided to go for a walk in hopes that the bumpy stroller ride might quiet things down. Since we’ve been wavering on the issue from the start, we challenged ourselves to try quitting cold turkey – no pacifier the entire trip regardless of the noise. We thought the summer scenery would surely serve to distract her. In full disclosure, she hasn’t been a huge paci fan from the start. Some days she seems to need it and others she’ll seem to have more fun just spitting it out and watching us scramble to plug it back in time and time again in fear that she’ll start to fuss. Last night we made it about half way with no problems, so proud of our early parenting skills. Then as we round the corner from the pool boredom must have set in because our precious little angel began one of her best siren impressions. We stood our ground, no pacifier! Well, at least not until we ran across a group of neighbors chatting at the corner. Then for fear that they’d phone child services, we pressed mute, smiled politely and continued on our way. So much for cold turkey.
Any paci stories to pass along? Would you recommend them or should they be shunned? Alternatives for soothing a crying child?
I have found in my 9 1/2 months of being a mommy that sometimes you just have to go with your gut. You can read all the parenting books in the world, but when it comes down to your child, you know her best! I started realizing that my parenting philosophy didn’t really fit with any ONE book/author/style, so I decided to give up on reading all the books (but using them as resources when I wanted info on a particular topic). I’ve realized that my mother’s instinct is usually best.
My husband and I hadn’t discussed the paci issue much, but we agreed that sucking the thumb was a harder habit to break. On our second day at the hospital after our baby was born, after hours of breast feeding one of the nurses offered us a paci, she said our baby was using me as a pacifier (and I was exhausted), that some babies need that to be soothed. Well, we started using the paci and it worked most of the time. At 8 months he started rejecting it… maybe it was the teething, but he is done with it now.
When my son was a baby, I so wanted him to love a paci, but one just wasn’t in the cards (or mouth) for him. He would never accept the strange bulb in his little mouth, so we soon learned very inventive ways to settle him down. Personally, I see nothing wrong with a baby using a paci, but there comes an age when they do need to be weaned so it does not affect the shape of their mouth or teeth. Moms know what’s best for their children, and every child is different, so I say, “Whatever works!”
I have a 4 year old daughter, and when she was born, I was determined that she would not take a pacifier. That was a habit I did not want to have to break. She was waking up several times each night, and I was exhausted. I knew she couldn’t be hungry, her diaper was dry, and she was not running a fever. My step-mom suggested that she may want something to suck on. So, I gave in and gave her a paci. It helped her tremendously! She began sleeping for longer periods throughout the night, which meant I got more rest too!!! She did however fall in love with her paci, so I really dreaded breaking the habit. It turned out to be no trouble at all, though! We went on a trip, and I forgot to pack one. She cried during that first nap and the first night without it, but the next day, she completely forgot about it. I agree that each child is different, and you know your child’s wants and needs better than anyone else, but I am glad my step-mom encouraged me to try the paci.
My two daughters have used a paci or “tete” as they call it. The older one had until she was 3 years old. I have to say that it was hard to hear everyone around us. Does she still use a paci! But I really did not care, she felt comforted by it and by her blanket “night-night”. There are so many books and so many people (with good intentions) trying to give you advised, but at the end of the day I just did what I thought it was best for MY baby, that baby nobody knows better than I, her mom, do. She is a normal, healthy 5 years old, who run to help find her baby sister “tete” if she lose it. I guess my “tete” girl knows better.
Nolan had his 9 month check-up today, and I asked his pediatrician about when we should take his paci away. He said that he won’t be a problem for his teeth until after 3 years old and that it slightly reduces the chance of SIDS. So he thinks that if it’s a comfort to Nolan, we can continue to let him use it. I’ll probably take it away before 3, but it’s nice to know that if anything, it’s actually a good thing!